Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Birth Order

I think parts of this is funny and true and others I pray it isn't! I know for a fact I won't be hiding from my kids, but rather soaking it all in because this will probably be our last! Plus, over the past few weeks I have been falling more and more in love with my two boys. I am amazed every day at how wonderful, witty, loving and special they are. I am SO thankful to be their mom! Anyways, here is the funny email I found:-)

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby:
Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
_____________________________________________________
Preparing for the Birth:
1st baby:
You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby:
You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby
: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
______________________________________________________
The Layette
:
1st baby:
You pre -wash newborn's clothes, colour-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby:
You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby:
Boys can wear pink, can't they?
______________________________________________________
Worries:
1st baby:
At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby
2nd baby:
You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby:
You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.
______________________________________________________
Pacifier:
1st baby:
If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you c an go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby:
When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby:
You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
______________________________________________________
Diapering:
1st baby:
You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby:
You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby:
You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
_______________________________________________________

Activities:
1st baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby:
You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby:
You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.
_____________________________________________ _________
Going Out:
1st B aby:
The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby:
Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby:
You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.
______________________________________________________
At Home:
1st baby:
You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby:
You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby:
You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
______________________________________________________
Swallowing Coins (a favorite):
1st child:
When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays
2nd child:
When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child:
When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from his allowance!
______________________________________________________

7 comments:

Molly said...

I love this! Ha Ha. I hide from my children all day!

Carol said...

This is a riot! I especially love "your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes." LOL!

Kelly said...

"You ask for an epidural in your eighth month." Yes, please! Haha!

Casey Martinez said...

That is awesome!! :) I never thought I'd be as lax as I am with my first but, some of these are dead on. LOved this! hehe

Sarah Halstead said...

I have seen this before, but love reading it every time!

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

i got such a good laugh here today!

Ben and Melissa said...

ah ha ha! The Fishers are laughing here over our morning coffee!