Thursday, October 1, 2009

Big Star...Little Star

So it is finally October...and next month Mike will be home. It has become so surreal to me that I have a husband and a father to my boys. I know that probably sounds HORRIBLE, but I have gotten used to life this way. And it is something that probably only someone who has had a loved one gone for so long can understand. I am pumped about having him back in our lives. More recently I have been thinking about what he has missed out on. Logan has physically grown about 2 inches since mike left, gone up a size in clothes and almost 2 shoe sizes. More than just physically, he has grown up as a little boy. Just the other day, he said "I love you Daddy" over the webcam for the first time without being prompted to do so. It made my heart smile so much, but broke it too because how much sweeter would that have been if Mike only could have hugged him afterwards....And Austin...we didn't think it would be such a big deal for him to be gone during this period of this life, which to be honest it probably won't be. But as I have looked back on videos of mike and Logan together at this time I see how mike will come home and be like a "visitor" for Austin. Most parents know that children like things certain ways and usually it is the mom or dad that can "figure out" what is wrong. However, Mike will have to learn all of those things and will have to start new and fresh...

Something sweet that just recently happened, is that the boys and I were taking some friends to the airport, where he somehow heard we were going to be near some airplanes. Well, I had gotten Logan several books about "daddy being deployed" back when Mike first left. One of them is about playing "catch" with the stars at night. We call it the "Logan and Daddy book" because the pictures of the two characters look similar to Mike and Logan. Anyways, on the way to the airport Logan says something new "Daddy big star, Logan little star, daddy bring big star". I smiled so big and it brought tears to know that he was really paying attention to that book and to think about how much he understood. The last page of that book it says "I'll board that plane and ask the crew to race that star right back to you" Only 4 more weeks and Logan will have that great big star from Mike!

1 comment:

Eryn Stennes said...

Gotta tell you, I've got goosebumps and I am trying my hardest not to cry right now!