Sunday, March 28, 2010

Is thinking my thing....?

So life has been happening, just day by day. Mike training, Mike home, boys playing, boys sleeping, vacuuming upstairs, vacuuming downstairs...just going on and on. I love being and am so content being a SAHM and SAHW. The work and purpose of raising these boys is so great, hard, and will be so rewarding. But I know and have a purpose so much greater than me or anything that I could ever do. (emphasis on the "I") How often do I really get out of my comfort zone? How much do I reach out and do the nudges that God gives me? Sometimes I just sit in bed and wonder, what is going to go wrong. Life is sooo good right now, or seems to be so good, that I am just waiting for the time that I will need to rely on the Lord with every ounce and prayer that I have. As selfish as this may sound, when I was in elementary school, I used to wish that I would break my arm or leg, or have something tragic happen to me so that I would have a testimony or more of a "reason" for relying on God. Sometimes that haunting feeling creeps back to me late at night (although now I don't wish something bad would happen, I fear it). HOWEVER, I have seen God's work in my life and those around me, so I know that I have relied on Him and He has been faithful.
So I have decided that I am going to use this time, until God calls me to show His glory through hardships, to study His Word, to reach inward and be truly motivated to reach out. I have learned lately that I have some great purposes here on earth. I have also learned that I need to work on them! Please share with me your callings and purposes and how you have learned them or even achieved them. What do you want to work on? For me right now, it is going to be working on being an honest and emotion wearing person. To share what Jesus reveals to me and to not be ashamed to share with others. What do I have to loose?

4 comments:

Molly said...

It's hard when things are so good and you think that they can't get any better, so what is going to happen to make things worse? I completely understand. Why is it that we always tend to be closer with God through a tragedy of some sort? Well at least I have. Ever since my brother's accident, I have seen God in so many different ways. But why did I need that accident to happen for me to see that? It's not like I have never heard of stories of people becoming quadriplegics. Why was I so selfish to think that could never happen to a loved one? I pray every day that no one else I know or love will ever have to go through what my family has gone through. But yet at the same time, things could be so much worse. Of course there are going to be hardships in everyone's lives, some worse than others - and that is when you do need God the most. Try not to dwell upon when the hardships will strike you, instead embrace all of the goodness around you and strengthen your relationship with God without having that burden of those hardships, it's bound to make the tough times a little easier whenever they do come up.

I really need to work on my patience with Finn. It's getting better, but sometimes I swear I am not cut out for this. Staying at home is SO HARD.And it can be so monotonous if you let it!

ElissaM said...

I know for a fact that God uses those times of hardships for His glory! Would you have seen God work as much as you have if this hadn't happened to your brother? Would you be able to reach out to a whole new group of people now because of what your family went through? It's all in his perfect plan even if we don't understand or like it now. I will embrace this goodness because dwelling on what hasn't happened will only bring me down...good reminder Molly...I am glad your patience has lifted...i agree that in the beginning it was hard. I can share some of my struggles of being a SAHM with you sometime...just wait till that day you see your boys playing together and truly loving each other and all will melt away...I have already seen the love in jacks eyes towards finn to know that you have some very special boys!!!

Casey Martinez said...

I love when you share your thoughts about the Lord and what he is showing you Elissa and I encourage you to do so whenever you feel it on heart because I know it blesses people every time! The one thing God has been teaching me lately is to be persistent and specific in my prayer time (as I already shared with you:). I will often pray for something or someone once and then fail to follow through on it again even though it might way on my mind constantly. A lot of the time I forget to be specific when I pray, for example: If we ask for a bike for Christmas do we say, "I want a bike" or do we say "I want a blue, banana seat, vintage bike?" Generally we are very specific when we need/want something but, not always when we talk to God. Satan has no problem with specifically and constantly reminding us of our weaknesses or lack day after day so we should remember to pray just as often and specifically to the Lord to combat Satan's attacks and to more clearly recognize when God works things out in our lives! That probably made zero sense but, it sounded great in my head:). Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

InsideTheCircus said...

It amazes me that you have two boys and a husband that is active in the military. While that may be day in and day out for you, to some, being able to live your life and stay devoted to your boys, your husband and GOD...girl that IS a testimony! That being said, I know where you're coming from. :) Go for those nudges God gives you. Pray for visions, dreams, etc. God continues to bless me when I take those small steps in faith. When I feel He tells me to go up to the lady at Target and pray for her. I go up to the lady at Target and pray with her. When he gives me a dream showing me some one that needs prayer, sure enough, the next day, I come across that person, and even more amazing to me, they need prayer.

Keep going girl. Keep leaning on Him. You are such a great wife and mom! Wish you could be in our 3:14 Bible study and church.

Love ya E!