A Common Funk

What is it about this age, gender, and stage in life? It seems that I am not the only one who seems to get in a funk around this time of life. I have many close friends and acquaintances who are lacking joy in their lives. Not much gets them motivated or even happy some days. What is it about this season?

Is it the kids and the life that they can drain out of us while at the same time we are required to love and nourish them. Not only that, but we WANT to love and cherish them ALL the time, but because we are all sinners...either they choose to not do something they should (or do something they shouldn't) and/or we are frustrated, in a bad mood, or just ticked off easily...we don't love on them. We then often look longinly at our children (or our spouse) while they are sleeping and am enthralled by their wonderfulness and then regret the words said earlier, the lack of time spent with them, or something else done or not done.

We are also leaving our "young years"...many of us have had one or more kids and our bodies are just NOT EVER going to be the same. No matter if we get to that high school weight again...it is just different. And I am not talking about that extra pooch...but the wrinkles, lack of time to do hair, dry skin, leaking when coughing...and I may be talking about myself here...but lack of fashion!!!

Am I just rambling here? Am I alone in this?

Another huge factor that weighs on myself for the common funk that comes in and out of my life is not being close to the Lord like I USED to be. Now...I know that God has empathy and understanding towards moms of young kids, but honestly it sucks!!! I have these moments of just craving and desiring time with God, reading His Word, and worshiping him. But then I go to do it, AND don't even get me started on what distracts me. I feel like even if I make that time for God; (which I TRY!) that because this is a different season in life and I can't serve in the church like before, and marriage is strained, and friendships are strained...that my relationship with God just won't be the same. Ugghhh...I don't even know if I am getting across what I want to say!

What I do want to say, is that we need to stop comparing ourselves to others on FB, instagram, blogs, pinterest, etc...what happened to that good old neighbor relationships??? What it boils down to is seeing what others have and wanting that. Wanting that amazing relationship with your kids and having them obey you when in reality you don't live in their house and see what goes on! Plus we need to focus on the kids that God gave US! No one mom is right in her ways...we are all given different gifts and we can glean from each other but we have to stop comparing and coveting. Same goes for our bodies, our marriages, the way our house is decorated, what kind of clothes we have, etc. It is time to be grateful, to choose to be joyful and content. I needed this pep talk so you all are getting it too:-) Getting time in with God is THE most important thing and based on that, will the rest of life fall. When we trust in him, our lives will reflect the amazing and wonderful God that is truly in charge. From yesterdays Jesus Calling "Accept yourself and your circumstances just as they are, remembering what I am sovereign over everything."

One of those moments...

Lately I have had one of those moments during a certain moment that makes you bust out laughing...if you can follow my tired brain. (by the way, I apologize for my writing...I am not eloquent, savvy, or an expert in expressing my words or telling stories. I am horrible at grammar, and they way I write comes out different than what I think in my head...there you have been warned)

Here is one of two example of "one of those moments". You all pretty much know what my hubby does and that he travels frequently. Yes, I have gotten used to it as much as I can, but there are nights when I do have a hard time with it. Where I feel like an over emotional teenage girlfriend who has to be away from her "true love" boyfriend for a God-awful week. Well, recently I was laying in the arms of my handsome hubby, trying to fall asleep, thinking about having to be alone once again. I was trying to create a memory by tracing his face (yes, sorry if too sappy) so I could remember every nook and cranny. When out of the blue the arm that is around me has a crazy muscle/or sleep twitch and SLAMS against the wall right above my head. Now...this has happened before, and this night I was lucky because I didn't get punched in the face or squeezed around the neck like other times. I just chalk it up to what happens right before he falls asleep...right?!?! Anyways, the laughter comes when I am laying there reminiscing wonderful things and I hear some sound coming from Mike...some whale-like horn sound..rruuuuhhhhhhh! That is when I had one of those moments while trying to have a sentimental moment. I busted out laughing sooo hard! Oh how I tried to have sweet and loving moment only to be interrupted by simple life:-) Guess it was time to just roll over and go to sleep.

Another hilarious moment during a more serious one:

Did you guys hear about that noravirus going around? That awful stomach bug epidemic? Yeah...well our boys had it. Everett had it first and then followed by Logan. It was definitely a hard one to see them go through because it started with about 5 hours of straight throwing up followed by being stuck on the toilet for 24 hrs. Logan started his bout at 4 in the morning this past weekend. I decided to just stay in his room because he was throwing up every 10-20 minutes. On about his 5th time, there isn't anything coming up and he is just dry heaving and burping. I was tyring to so hard to say the right things to help him through this, encourage him so he feels better, and just love on him. Oh the poor boy! I was helping hold the bowl and he just kept burping and burping! Now, if you know Logan, you know what a rule follower he is...you tell him to do something as a rule or law and he will do it no matter what. I think he was taken back at how much he was burping and he looked up at me with the most confused eyes and sorry eyes and says "excuse me mom" between burps...oh my son!!!! Had to use his manners despite the throwing up! I tried to not laugh because he continued to throw up, but it was too funny:-)

I think I have come to realize with all the kids and the years of marriage, that those moments that are sentimental, serious, or frustrating and then when funny things happen that can be the best thing for the situation. I love that God has a sense of humor and keeps things real.

New Name, New Journey!

I have decided to give my blog a new name...even though the wonderful and cute design is gone...bummer... I still want and try to "Live for His Legacy" in every day life. Jesus is the one I look towards when going through day to day situations, and I hope to follow in his footprints as best I can. Even if He has to help carry me through, I strive to live for Jesus.

The new name, "Every Day Stories" will still include posts about what God is doing for the family and myself.  I just feel like documenting my every day-life stories. As the months and years have gone on, I have some pretty interesting, humerous, and sad stories that I want to share. They aren't extriodanary, crazy, or powerful...they are just plain life experiences from my lifetime! "Every Day Stories" will hopefully give some people more insight into what goes on in my head. I have so many commonalities with you friends and family, but there are some things in my life that are different than you and those truly direct certain decisions and emotions of mine. Please stay tuned for new posts about being a wife of 9 years to a man who risks his life as a calling from God; about starting the journey into "middle age" years (yikes!!!...30!!!); about raising three boys and being resonsible for 3 families some day; and about my constant struggle to draw near yet overwhelming love for the Lord.

1,2,3...A,B,C

Of course I HAD to post about school starting, especially since my one and only Logan will be starting the school life tomorrow. I can't believe that it is that time already, and yes, as cliche as everyone has sounded, time has gone by WAY too fast. So what about it right???? Some people may be jumping and up and down excited to rid their homes of arguing, complaining, over active 5 year olds. Or some people may be crying themselves to sleep tonight wishing their baby, still needs their crust off their sandwich, please build a ship for me kid would be staying home and under their wing for another year.

I know, I am exaggerating, but seriously...what a momentous night and day tomorrow is! I have been thinking about what to say to Logan to help make tomorrow special. Something to remember, something for him to know that I love him GREATLY and will miss him...BUT am so excited for him and am rooting him on:-) I am so glad that as I was saying good night to him tonight in his own room that the right words came to me. I told him a story about being pregnant with a baby and being so excited for the baby to come...and how I knew that 5 years later he would have to go to kindergarten. Yadda, yaddaa yadaa...so much more was said and then he grabbed me around the neck and started to choke back tears! I couldn't believe it! I hoped I hadn't ruined his excitment and now made him scared for school!!! But then he said "Momma, I just miss you so much". I promised him that I would be waiting for him when he got off the bus and he couldn't believe it. What a little man...

I wouldn't say I am either of those moms that I described in the beginning, but somewhat in between with a sway to each side every now and then. My fears about Logan going to school are:

him being afraid. The teacher not loving or caring for him...being patient with his little quirks that make him Logan. Him not being able to button his pants or not being able to put on his backpack in time. Logan is a stickler for things being the right way...very ODC and I pray that he will be able to overcome the need scheduled things and find a love for flexibility. Shining all the way through it.

another fear is that I haven't taught him enough. Taught him what it means to be a child of God. Taught him what it means to not tease others, to love and accept others. To be patient and kind to ALL kids. What if he is swayed by the other students to disobey and not listen to the teacher??? I am not there to see him and correct him. In Jesus name...

I am excited however, to see the little boy he will become. I will pray daily that he will be a witness to others in the school. Even his teacher. It is a main reason why we have decided to not home school. We feel it could cripple a boys ability to be a leader and a disciple for Christ. Yes...even at this age they learn to lead and to be confident in their beliefs. I mean...Logan has asked about the Trinity and could explain it to you! How awesome is that! My work will never be done and I could have always done better...but that is why our children are gifts to us for a time being. That they are truly God's and will be used for His purpose. I will rest in that thought tonight:-)

Until tomorrow...when I will have to wake Logan at 630 to catch his 715 bus! YIKES! NIGHT!

Distraction

Ok...lets admit it. Us Stay at Home Moms get distracted. Seriously. Even though being a full time mom is crazy busy...whether it is one, 3 or 5 kids, it is BuuuuSY! But, we do get distracted by the computer, crafts or the cute kids we raise. Here is my account:

The boys took a bath...i decided to clean the bathroom while they did. I got quite a few splashes of water on me since I wasn't paying 100% attention to them, but I do have one-clean-boy's-bathroom. Then  I decided after they went to bed I would clean MY bathroom...5 minutes and DONE. Well, why not get the downstairs bathroom done...5 minutes and CLEAN! Now I feel quilty. What tooke me probably a total of 15 minutes was delayed over this past week because I didn't think I had the TIME! HA!

So...how does distraction work? Well...here it goes: decided to clean the bathroom 3 days ago. I go into the bathroom and remember I actually have to pee. Sit down to pee. "knock, knock knock" goes my cute 17 month old. I crack the door open and play peek a boo while sitting on the toilet. I get up and realize I need a tampon (sorry for the personal information). I tell the babe I am sorry but I have to go upstairs. I walk past the washer on the way to my room and I change loads. I then hear screaming down stairs and I run down because it sounds like a kid is dying. Older kid has been punched in the stomach by the younger kid. "ok...you are fine.." insert correct discipline here which takes about 20 min. I then am thirsty and get a drink which then causes all three kids to want a snack. " get a bowel and I will get the snack"...as youngest child walks by I smell something bad. Chase him down while singing ABC's so he doesn't cry so I can change his poopy bum. "mom...I want my snack!!!" Oh yes...get back to that. Please don't sit there because you will spill your snack!! Get a towel and realize there are no clean ones so I head back upstairs to find one in the laundry. Find it and come back down to find all the pillows off the couch and two little ones playing hide and seek behind them while their little legs stick out and giggles are even more obvious than those legs. I run and sneak up on them and cause about a 30 min wrestle and giggle session. Then it is lunch time...take about an hour out of the time frame and come back to finishing dishes:


Ok...seriously. Bathroom??? Really? a little boy is going to pee on the seat in about 10 min...who cares?!?!?!

POST TITLE

Dare I say that I am back to blogging? How long has it been? 5-6 months? Seems like eternity huh...especially looking back at pictures. I have to say that much as changed since then, but there is still so much of the same things going on.

Still in the same house, same city, same job, same love (and more) for my hubby and kids. Perhaps I have made a jump into a new mom-roll. Maybe I am a bit more calm, more organized, and more ready for life's road blocks...but.....probably not:-) No perfection here, no clean house, laundry still in the washer (not drying), still have an extra 10 lbs around my belly and probably isn't going anywhere no matter how many miles I run a week. I have a new perception on being a military wife after 10 years and sorry hubby...I am not afriad to share it. Being a mom isn't easy, especailly of three boys...and no, you don't understand even if you have one boy. Talk to me after a few years of being a "single" mom of three active and lively boys. I am not judging you, I am just saying we are different and thank God we are, because I would AND want to hear so much about your life and then I REALLY (serioulsy want to) would be daydreaming about it:-)

I couldn't live without my family and friends and it is hard to admit that, but it is 100% true. Just seeing you those 5 minutes at the resturaunt after 10 years of speaking made my year:-) You love my boys like I have loved them the past 6 years...how could you and why??? Thank you Lord that you do...


I am not the friend that I used to be...I don't respond immediately to my emails...sometimes it take me days or even a week. I can't believe that I have a nursing degree some days and other days I wonder why I am not using it. I appreciate the music in my life, the sunshine and also despise the clouds. This blog has become my journal. My vague yet deep journal. Be interested or not, but be warmed that you are getting a glimpse of a woman who adores Jesus, is madly in love with her husband who is always gone training, who wanted a daughter but wouldn't trade her THREE sons for the WORLD, and still doesn't know her own purpose (except to serve the one and Holy God).

Thoughts of a Spring Evening

(warning...blurry pictures ahead)

We bought Everett his first swing...

 Tonight was the perfect night to try it out...

 We had perfect weather today that made me crave summer and fall at the same time. One two three push...feel the wind through his silly hair...

I gaze at my hydrangeas coming back. They were so dead and quiet all winter. I pray I wake as they did. 

I glance down at the sight of shoes on the wrong feet, but put proudly on by a three year old, and it makes me ponder. What precious moments are these. 

A giggle that only my heart knows. How I love your smile dear Everett. 

I longingly stare at the sunset, wishing I had more a  view. For every color is created by God for God and for us. I see my surroundings in my view also, just amazed at what I have been blessed with. A fence for my house and a swing set for my children.

Could anything be any sweeter than this Spring's night?

Austin found it. He felt the wind in his hair and opened his mouth to feel it too. 

Dare I even say how big my little man has gotten? One week and he will be five. What a glorious 5 years this has been.

Six hands, 30 toes, 3 faces, and my heart that is complete. Thank you Lord for this sweet night:-)